Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! First, I’m so grateful to be connected with you all on Substack. The people here—writers and supporters—have been beyond anything I expected, and I’m truly enjoying the process of sharing my work with you. Are you ready to rock?
Angela Marrant is my pen name.
Marrant means "funny" in French, and since I see myself as an absurdist and a writer who mainly focuses on satire and humor on Substack, I think it is perfect.
Let me warn you right away: I don’t have a sense of humor, not in a way that I’d sit and laugh with you at the joke that has just been told… No. I’m that one friend who leaves the party with a happy yet puzzled expression and then suddenly starts laughing a week later (or why not a year?) because—yay, I got it! That joke someone told me a month ago! Now I know what it means… Cheers to me.
That’s why I’m writing humorous fiction, I guess.
Why are there no links to follow?
I have a blog and an Instagram account, but they are under a different name. I don’t want to mix Substack with my other social media, so I am starting over here, fresh (undercover).
Tell us more and tell us the truth! Here we go:
I have an excellent education and a vast field of expertise in literature. I know a little about everything but nothing in particular.
I am female.
The picture on my profile is mine (taken a year ago).
I’m married.
I’m Gemini.
I live in Europe.
I have traveled to over 50 countries.
I don’t belong to any group. I’m apolitical. I don’t take sides. Let’s be honest and remove those dusty glasses for a moment: there are no sides to take. Any government is slavery. Period.
- I always recommend reading Aldous Huxley's “Science, Liberty, and Peace” before any discussion.
- Or why not Pierre-Joseph Proudhon? Check his quote in the picture below.
I can speed-read (I once read 100 books in a month). Yes, I speed-read your fantastic posts, but don't worry; I understand about 87%. Where's the rest—the precious 13%? Hmm, now I wonder...
I speak four languages and write in two.
My main interests:
1) Health - I follow various health gurus and well-known figures in the field. I also read many scientific and medical magazines.
2) Science—primarily in the area of "Mind and Physics.”
3) Ah, and writing…
Some of my favorite authors include O. Henry, William Thackeray, Ivan Bunin, Margaret Millar, Milan Kundera, and Dostoevsky.
Poets: Leonard Cohen, Pablo Neruda, Byron.
Philosophers: Schopenhauer.
Psychoanalyst: Arno Gruen ( The Insanity of Normality and The Betrayal of Self).
I’m lazy, and I prefer not to do anything. In fact, I love it. That doesn’t mean I am idle like Oblomov… To be honest, I am working on my next book about what happens when two murderers meet.
Why Absurd?
There’s nothing more accurate in the universe than absurd.
Why Satire?
Satire speaks truth to any power. It can inspire new ways of thinking about the world and human behavior, remind people they’re not alone, and, at its core, heal.
Why Burlesque?
Yeah, yeah, silly me… I love burlesque. It’s a shame it is forgotten nowadays. Everyone is so damn serious :)
What caricature is in painting, burlesque is in writing. Henry Fielding
Why Humor?
Because I don’t get it—what’s everyone laughing about??
Why NO CLUE LAND?
Because everybody is trying to explain to me, you, us HOW THINGS ARE without KNOWING HOW THEY ARE. At least I’m honest about the place I’m living in.
Why now?
Well, it started with the hook…
As a little girl, I dreamed of finding my hook. Yes, I’m not lying to you. I had no idea what it was at the time, but after studying for 19 years, I felt more prepared than ever to discover it. One day, my neighbor asked me what I planned to do with my literature degree. "The hook," I replied. After all, this is how you get people to read your work, right?
So, after years of practice, armed with a weapon of mass choice and love’s destruction to become the most readable absurdist, I opened a Substack account. And guess what the subject of the first post I ever read was? Correct! It was a story about the hook… written by the famous hustler Trenton Hook. However, that is another story; I’ll return to it someday :)
Why do you add the photo of this guy all the time?
You’ll see this face quite a lot on my blog. He is a real person. No, he isn’t my husband, but he’s definitely someone’s husband… I saw him with a baby.
He represents my hero - from the comedy (free to read); I’ll start sharing next week.
FOLLOW THE STORY HERE - BULLET'S ADVENTURE: TABLE OF CONTENTS
What is the value of following Angela Marrant (or the hardships)?
I sell a positive mind. My mother frequently tells me that many people out there have nothing wrong with them except their thoughts. But fear not! I have the ideal remedy for you—yes, a kind of drug. Read my stories, alter your thought patterns, and allow your mind to rejuvenate and relax.
My words have profound power, and healing happens at the moment when you are entirely present, reading or listening to them.
What is the cost of the prescription? $6.99
I know what you’re thinking… $6.99 is quite expensive for a damn newsletter. Is it any good? I don’t know. Maybe if we asked my team of psychiatrists, we’d get a better answer, but considering that all of them failed my diagnosis, I have doubts about their ability to judge.
My writing usually covers four topics: life, death, love, and sex—hmm, mostly sex. I follow the famous rule of 80/20 very strictly :)
What about death? I guess I’m a nihilist. I’m uncertain about what it means, and three ‘I’s in one word makes me dizzy.
Want to YOLO every second for the rest of your life? – 6.99
Want to read something terrifying, modern, and out of the box but with carambola on top? – 6.99
Want to live forever? Contact Angela Marrant for the price.
Remember, though:
1. There’s no money-back guarantee on this $6.99 deal.
2. Hate my posts? I get it: I hate them even more than you do.
3. Female reviewers usually rate my stories 1 star; male reviewers—10 stars. Now… if you’d like to know what your husband is reading or why your wife disapproves, an easy way to find out THAT is with the 6.99.
3. Always remember the words of Arthur Schopenhauer: “Stories are like a mirror. If an ass looks in, you can’t expect an angel to look out”.
4. And please, do not forget to leave feedback.
If seriously…
Humor and satire have been written for thousands of years, but today, I’m taking it to another level. My fiction is symbolic, allegorical, and surreal. Some of my stories are also part of my ERO GURO experiment—the union of the grotesque and desire.
Many stories are sincere, a couple are dreamlike, and zero are boring; still… most are either bizarre or wise. Or both :)
They also contain a grain of truth about life. At times, we may not be able to express the truth openly because:
a) We are too kind and don’t want to hurt anybody.
m) We no longer see the difference between truth and lie.
m) Or we are too afraid to get shot in the head.
We want to keep our heads where they belong, right?
As you can see, Angela Marrant cares NOT ONLY about your mind and spiritual journey but also about your physical health!!
Read, smile, think, subscribe, repeat!
Oh, did I tell you I love you today? What? I didn’t? Well, I do! I love you because you’re very brave for subscribing to Angela Marrant.
You can also support ABSURDISM and HUMOR by sharing my page!
ATTENTION!! Don’t know how to break out of the mold and write something new when you’ve been entrenched in a project for a while? Don’t go too far… Read about the Tristan Tzara Method and HOW TO DADA - here
